Hi there Beautiful One
In my life, like many Caribbean Canadians, I had the struggle with my weight going up and down more than a yo-yo could handle. This led to internal struggles which as a strong island raised gal was not something to be made public. You just kept it in. It is your duty to build a wall of super strength around you and keep you going.
So, when my brother died at the age of 9 and then my father passing just before what would have been my brothers 21st birthday. I had already dealt with my share of grief, loss, anxiety, overwhelm, the list goes on. Many who were looking in from the outside to my life called me a rock. I could safely hide behind that name. Inside, that rock was crumbling.
What did I do with all of that crumble, I did what any island raised gal would do? I became the rock that I was known for and excelled in every aspect of life I could. Academics was quite simple because when I didn't feel the instructors were enough, I found the answers without them and ended up teaching myself complex disciplines that people are now sitting for university degrees in only to find out the information is not readily in front of them.
Leading to self-esteem, anxiety to be the best at everything else since I couldn't seem to get a handle on my weight. I realized that as I was going to have to go back to my roots of healing and stop the cycle of eating well and exercise to not eating well and exercising for good.
I made a decision to join Brazilian JiuJitsu (BJJ) and again that was another task that I was really working toward becoming the best. Sadly, coming from a training session to be a coach in BJJ I met with a car accident that I was not supposed to walk away from according to this life. I did only to be accosted by the family of the person who totalled my car. Blow to the self-esteem was one thing but to be informed by my medical team that this was not going to be a practice I was going to be able to continue was a greater blow.
I had lost my ability to move in the way I had become familiar with, my mental state was backward because I couldn't believe that I had to let others do for me that was a given. My self-esteem of being self-sufficient was on display, the thoughts and conversations in my mind were winning and I was being overcome with frustration. I couldn't make time for myself or my family. My spiritual life had gone from simple identifiable faith to questions of why did this happen in my life? Had I not gone through enough trauma in my life - why the physical trauma now?
I had to really take a moment and a leap of faith to come to myself and work toward my best me. I decided that it was time to keep doing what my parents had raised me to do. Keep going and not let anyone or any circumstance stop me. Look beyond the physically visible. I knew then what I know now, there is much more for me to do. So I became more intentional about my complete wellness and in doing that my heart grew more for others who had experienced the same setbacks mentally, physically and spiritually. Now I work closely to help many realize to take control of their lives is not a selfish act but in fact, an act of pure love and gratitude to enhance relationships and enable themselves to serve their community and beyond in abundance.
I am a Certified PraiseMoves Instructor, Faith-based Coach, Praise and worship leader, a spiritual mentor in the community, International Speaker.
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